HISTORY OF THE KARDASHIANS TOLD IN CHRISTMAS CARDS

These Christmas cards are all from Kim's blog. 

This photo really sums up the kids. Kim is working the camera, Kourtney is brain dead, Khloe is wondering who all these swarthy people are and Rob is crying about some shit.

Rob Jr. is such a jackass. Look at that fucking outfit. Kim kills it again. Kourtney is still brain dead. Khloe is looking more and more like her father every day. Whoever that is. Her glance says, "you know and I know that this is a sham".

Momma Kris hooked up with Bruce Jenner after she was dumped for cheating. What the fuck is this green thing they're celebrating? He's there in person and then they've got dolls of it? I bet Kris hit it - whatever it is. She was definitely coked up, smearing lipstick on the girls and assuring them that this giant lizard was way better than daddy. And who is Bruce's eldest? He appears to have a touch of the down.

No bright red lipstick on children in this photo. No sir. That shit doesn't fly with daddy. Daddy won't have his girls growing up to be whores like mommy. It's bad enough daddy had to raise a kid that wasn't his. He's not ready to be a granddaddy to grandkids that aren't his. Khloe stay close to daddy. 

What have we here? Someone got a new mommy. And she's a class act. I've never seen Rob Sr. so relaxed. He's relieved that his girls finally have a proper role model. And Khloe finally looks like she belongs in this family. Wins all around!

Noooooo. Daddy died. And now Khloe's on the back of a motorcycle with a man in a toupee. Khloe says she lost her virginity at the age of 14 to a boy who was 18. Looks like our retarded homeboy back there is about that age.

X Melissa